happy endings?

jeshicuh @ 2008-08-22T01:10:00

2008-08-22T08:16:06Z

lindsay is talking to zimbabwe brothers about life.
and she called the black people "brothers" bahahhahhaha

jeshicuh @ 2008-08-21T23:21:00

2008-08-22T06:24:55Z

i want to know why compulsive liars lie SOOOO much.
thats going to be my research assignment in psychology.
like, what do you get out of lying about everything.
does it give you a false sense of "oh im tight", even though your whole life turns out to be completely dishonest.
which is what leads to depression.
im not a psychologist, but im pretty damn sure im right.

ps.
i love not being at home.
it keeps me from eating hella food. bahahaha

never leaving.

2008-08-21T13:44:14Z

so i havent blogged in a minute,
because life is way to chaotic at the time being.

im in love with this place, and the people in it. Ive met so many people lately, its insane.
teresa is the coolest person in the world.
and we decided that next year, we are living together. plus kayla :) who is also one of the most amazing girls around
so we were gonna look into getting a 3 bedroom place in mustang or somewhere around.
so juiced :)

cool story, i met denas ex boyfriend last night. bahahhahahhahaa he asked if ive ever fought, i said yes. explained my story. he asked questions about names. so i of course mentioned stephen tarpley & dena. He stops me and was like wait... you know tarpley?
like WTF! so crazy. he went out with Dena right before Stephen did. how random is that? small world forsure.
he ended up pretending to be my boyfriend of 3 years, when this creeper guy kept trying to kiss me. HA! he was my knight in shining armor :)

Olympic themed costume parties are fun. but never believe them when they say "dress code strictly inforced." me and teresa were the only ones wearing red, white and blue. bahahahaha
okay, time for class.

my number one secret

2008-08-16T09:34:41Z

the love of this song.
its the best for any mood, any situation.
it reminds me of taking chances.
having things fixed.
for some reason, it always gives me hope.
& its beautiful as hell.
your gonna hate it, im sure. but thats why my song, is just that.
my song.
search for depth. not just a beat.

[Ride - Cary Brothers]

jeshicuh @ 2008-08-16T02:12:00

2008-08-16T09:17:28Z

"I wouldnt swap the pain, for never knowing you. It was worth it for the view."
now thats sweet.

anyways, my middle name should be complicated.
you chase me, i run faster.
i chase you, you most likely got a head start.
lose, lose situation.

maybe when i get older, ill grow out of this.
maybe not.
with age come wisdom, or so i hope.

i just dont want to be the girl thats pulling on chains left and right, cause i dont want to hurt people. I just want them to give me a certain amount of distance. Without me having to play the " i lost my phone" or the "yeah i have work... all day... everyday " card.
geez, no wonder why guys are douche bags, chicks made them that way.
ahhhhhhhhh interesting.

WAIT

2008-08-14T06:37:35Z

please tell me your joking.
BAHAHAHHAHHAHAH
cool story,
boy. texts me.
"we need to talk" this coming from the boy that NEVER talks. i say call. the phone rings.
wasnt expecting that, maybe hes drunk? i will find out.
"..so i was in church today, for wednesdays group .. and the pastor was talking about how people come into your life for a reason, and the second i heard that. i thought of you. I think this was Gods way of telling me, that i didnt give you enough of a chance. You have to be in my life for a reason.
"and what reason do you think that is?"
"your gonna be the girl to save me from myself."
"interesting. i gotta go to bed. goodnight"

WHAT AN IDIOT.
sfakgijieqpuagtkdj
ahhhhhhhhh that made my night.
my week,
NO! my year.

jeshicuh @ 2008-08-13T23:21:00

2008-08-14T06:24:08Z

the saddest thing in the world, is when you find out someone you know that was your age, just died.
and then you go on his myspace,
and you see how excited he was for his new position at work.
and then you see the last time he signed in,
and realize it will always stay that way.

i may sound stupid, but its too sad.
if i die randomly , message tom to delete my profile, please.
goodnight.

cool story,

2008-08-12T08:53:05Z

there was a frat across the street was fighting,
and its fucking 2 in the morning. and all i hear is "FUCKING HIT ME! HIT ME!"
then shouting about "you dont know what i went through the past 5 years of my life"
"YOU BROKE MY DOORKNOB"
so what do i do? i open the window, and shout.. "EITHER HIT HIM OR SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
and there was a pause.
and then EVERYONE across the street started yelling at me saying shut the fuck up you slut blah blah blah *angry words* *angry words* while me and lindsay die laughing. BAHAHHAHAHA
it was great.
made my morning.
that is all<3

sagjhuelaidbailakbd

2008-08-12T06:56:36Z

Boy;;
way to freak me out.
kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. then you pull away to whisper to me " i think about you all day" and then go back to kissing me.
my question, what could you possibly be thinking about?!
i met you a week ago, and you know very little about me.
I should of asked this question, but was distracted by alcohol in my system.
i need to decided how im going to handle this situation.
since i already lied saying i was out of town for dinner tonight, to avoid a potential date.
sometimes i wish he didnt live across the street.
cause now:
a. i cant lie, saying im out when im really not. Cause he can see my car from his living room.
b. he can randomly show up whenever he wants. NOT good.
i dont want a boyfriend, i dont want a commitment, i want to have fun.
thats one concept that he refuses to grasp.

Rachel;;
i swear to god, im so sick of her shit. If you dont like the fact that mikey is staying with me for the weekend, SAY SO. dont do your dismissive little comments and then when he gets home start yelling and crying about how pissed you are. GROW THE FUCK UP.

weakness

2008-08-08T08:22:37Z

you always have been the one with the ability to spin me around in circles :)
its your fault i never go to bed till 3 am.
quit it
before things get out of hand.
best part is.. none of you would ever be able to guess ;)

<3333

2008-08-06T04:06:44Z

waking up to cuddling reminded me of how much i would love, to be in love.
life is always so much more exciting when you have someone living it with you.
& i think im ready to try this again.
Im gonna drop the bitterness, the hesitation to trust and all the bullshit.
and im gonna find someone to fall for
and im gonna do just that,
fall :)

ive realized, im most likely going to fall and never be caught,
but that isnt gonna keep me from trying.
like lindsay told me today,
the biggest risk in life is the one you never take.
or something like that :)

jeshicuh @ 2008-08-04T23:10:00

2008-08-05T06:11:23Z

i didnt have a boyfriend last time I checked.

ha.
i hate when people try to keep tabs on me.

twilight zone status!

2008-08-02T06:51:56Z

so yesterday i met up with stephens ex fiance in pismo beach,
she was up here shopping with her sister and melissa from montana.
We had hella fun shopping, so it led to parting on the beach, partying on the beach led to getting wasted and camping out overnight, waking up the next morning led to us getting quads and riding quads all day, drinking beer and having a good time, which led to dinner.
A year ago, i would of laughed if you said i was going to be hanging out with the girl whos ass i beat because she stole my best friend from me.
But we got along famously & took many pictures!

fyi, quads are dangerous, and sand dunes are even more dangerous. If you look out at just mini hills of sand, and your going 30+ mph on a little bike that is the most unsturdy thing in the world... you think that its just that, MINI hills. but while traveling at such high speeds you realize theres a giant drop after this "mini" hill. This leads to you crashing and seeing your life flash before your eyes at you ram yourself and your vehicle into a metal fence.
it was AWESOME.
why do people put the throttle by the handlebar is my only question. cause whenever i got scared, i would grip harder.. which would cause me to accelerate! ahhhhh it was scary as hell. super intense, but so worth it.

ive learned that i will never be the girl who stays at home and is satisfied. I have to be out, doing new things. In my world i cant experience life from the comfort of my own home.
This discovery had inspired me to get out of this house, asap.
and do what i need to do to fix the non-living im doing now.

and btw, i learned to shotgun beer! & bud light has 95 calories a can.
& im deleting jacobs number out of my phone.
i called him accidentally last night when with the girls, once i realize my phone had done so i hung up. then laughed when he called back saying he would like to talk to me. NOSUCKKKA!

goodnight :)

jeshicuh @ 2008-07-30T00:36:00

2008-07-30T07:36:20Z

I know your reading this,
Cause I know you found me on this thing.
You may be suprised, but I don't tell anyone every single aspect of my life. Most of it. But not all.
And this is my question.
Your talking about second chances, but is it cause your still in love with me or because your in love with our story.
You have to admit, the idea of us working out would be one hell of a love story.
But all I do is question your motives. I love your company, but we are in two different places in our lives. Im much different now then I was when I was 13.
I just want you to realize that.
You said we've done long distance before, but not like this. And you couldn't even stay faithful then.

I love the idea, but im no longer in love with you. That ended years ago.
Now you can read this and we can continue to talk as if nothing happened .. But please don't press this issue any further.
I didn't lie when I said I love you -- even after all the bullshit you pulled.
But im just not in love with you.. And you know that's a big difference.

funniest thing

2008-07-29T23:43:59Z

that i have learned about my cousin.
whenever she is sad, she watches tara lipinski win the olympics.
YES.
she watches the womens figure skating event.
as she watches the 15 year old "with a smile as big as the world" win the olympics.
this is MY roomate.
lmfao
when im sad, i prefer a tub of icecream.

this isnt gonna work.

2008-07-29T07:32:40Z

stressed the fuck out.
fuck 12 credits per term
fuck full time jobs.
fuck medical insurance
and fuck car insurance.

fdjalgk, zcvjdgvbmn zfbg\az
that is all.

jeshicuh @ 2008-07-26T16:40:00

2008-07-26T23:45:46Z

i would never name my kid eric shane.
get it ... eric shane = erection. lmfao

and i seem to have left out some things.
the reason why lindsay im'd me "dude your a fag" was because i had my aim away message set as
"fuck brooke hogan. jessica knows best."
because i was currently watching brooke knows best last night on vh1.com

dude, my aunt is hilarious.
our neighbor was walking in the parking lot at like 1 in the morning in some heels that were hella LOUD and annoying, my aunt screamed out the window "STRIPPER!" and then layed down hella fast.
and then some girl was hella obnoxiously saying "omggg i really never have!" so my aunt screams out the window "REALLY! NEVER?!"
it was great.

are you being serious right now.

2008-07-26T09:22:00Z

why is it that guys never see the faults in anything that they ever do.
and why is it that i only know how to point out other peoples faults,
yet never recognize my own.
ugh.

jeshicuh @ 2008-07-26T00:17:00

2008-07-26T07:24:07Z

sushiya! was hella good (yeah, thats the name of the sushi place.)
and i had tempura with hella vegetables... and it reminded me of precious villyardo & lili and how i miss them so.
:(
but i was also rather aggitated. know why? I HATE when people constantly turn around and look at you and then turn back to your friends and whisper. secrets dont make friends and i hate when i cant be hella nosey.

ANYWAYS, i was really just posting to tell you about the funniest thing in the world. i was just lying in my bed, next to lindsay's bed. dead silent, playing on the laptop... and all of a sudden i get an IM saying "dude your a fag." from lindsay. it was the funniest thing in the world. i just started cracking up and saying "lol" through aim. while we were both laughing hysterically.
---maybe you just had to be there.

andrew wimmer king

2008-07-26T04:34:13Z

was right about what i call i non-kiss.
it does have placement in the kiss area.
i will no longer refer to it as a non-kiss.
Andrew has described that it is a hello/goodbye kiss.
because its true, i wouldnt want to see you people making out in front of me to say hello/goodbye to eachother.
ew, no.
so yes, andrew was right.
and jessica was slightly wrong.

blog later,
<33

OMGZZZZZ

2008-07-25T09:44:55Z

you know the 11:11 / 1:11 comment i made in the last blog?
I DIDNT KNOW I WAS BLOGGING AT EXACTLY 1:11.
thats sick.

anyways, miley cyrus is a psycho ass skank with her crazy you-tube videos.
doesnt this girl have another 3-T shirt she should be creating instead of making random pointless videos?
then again, im watching them. which makes me just as retarded.

so this led to aim conversations.
heres a good one.
"when you see a black man running down the street you think 'hmm, i wonder what he did.' but if you see a white man running down the street you think 'oh he must be late for something.' this fool could be wearing a ski mask and be running with a bag of cash and you would think 'oh, he must be on the way to the bank to make a deposit. thats a rather large deposit!'"

ahhh good times.

jeshicuh @ 2008-07-23T23:10:00

2008-07-24T06:20:05Z

i like that when at the beach, people start casual conversations. It makes you feel in someway connected with the world. When other people notice you and converse with you without force or being familiar. unlike the bay area. Where your not allowed to look at people.

another thought that fascinates me is that no one out here knows me.absolutely no one. so its a total fresh start, i could change everything about myself if i wanted to. I could change my history if i wanted too -- cause who would prove me wrong? now, i wouldnt do that. but its nice to think that i could. thats one thing i hated in the bay area, whenever i thought that i had met someone "new" that person was friends with people that either dont like me, or i have an interesting history with. So it was never really someone "new". it was someone ...used. hhahaa

so everyone was at the john mayer concert tonight, i wish i had a ticket :(
AND QUESTION!
why are all tropical storms named after women? thats saying something.

goodnight.

i am bad.

2008-07-22T08:26:27Z

i need to be punished.
why do i insist on flirting with people who i know are interested in me, but i couldnt be any LESS interested in.
gelghaguahjhwtuhglskn i swear. sometimes im just ASKING to complicate my life.
someone give me a hobbie,
something ELSE to do when im bored.

... i should learn how to knit.
or something.

i am stupid and paranoid

2008-07-22T06:37:32Z

who in their right mind decides to watch the movie Psycho & then go take a shower.
...jessica.

i swear i could hear the slasher music while i was putting shampoo in my hair.
this freak out caused me to lock the bathroom door and only have the clear shower curtain closed.
i am officially a freak.
the end.

"lalalalala I DIDNT LISTEN!"

2008-07-22T05:08:58Z

new obsession?
lipton hot tea with one packet of splenda.
mmhmmm.

oh and why did jason try randomly aiming me today saying..
"are you ready to talk shit out now?"
WTF. nigga. you said you didnt want to talk. and i now think your an ass hole. so hmmm. no. lol
and then this fool says "well your the hardest girl in the world to map out."
its not that difficult. you like me. i dont like you.

anyways. sleeeep & cooking is what my day has consisted of.
that is all.